I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
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