Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
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