I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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