Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize
