I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
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