I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
Randomize
