my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
