just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize