do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
My phone has seen less use in the last three days than Tom Brady's condoms.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
Thank you for not boning my boss.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
Randomize
