kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
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