wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
Randomize
