you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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