Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
