All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
I wish there were birth control emojis
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
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