well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
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