i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
Randomize
