No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
