Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
ok first of all what the fuck
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Randomize
