May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
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