I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
