5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
Randomize
