Porn is love you can see.
I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
Why are your pants in the freezer?
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
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