Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Randomize
