The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Randomize
