I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
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