Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
