Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
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