Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Randomize
