Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
