just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
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