If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
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