SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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