I wanna passion pit in your ass
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
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