ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
Randomize
