...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
Randomize
