dude i'm inner monologue high
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
Can I color on your dick again?
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize