Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
