We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
Randomize
