i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
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