What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
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