he wants to bone in the snuggie
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize
