I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
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