I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
Randomize
