he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
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