ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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