he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Randomize
