in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
