How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
I think i got beer on your cat.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
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