you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
Farmville is her only friend.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
I want to fling myself into the sun
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
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