This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
Holy sore nipples Batman
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
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