Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
Randomize