I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Randomize
