so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
Randomize
