He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
Randomize
