You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Randomize
