the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
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