i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
