so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
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