can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
