You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
He uses pillows to masturbate.
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
