i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Randomize