her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
Randomize
