You're my little dorito
I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
