Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
I don't deserve a penis
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
Randomize
